Wednesday, September 23, 2009
understanding the grace of God
Trying to understand and even read the grace of God is a lifetime work. It is not just that God is a little mysterious; the reality is that His grace is a far more mysterious reality. It rarely works the same way a second time as God directs His attention to each of our individual situations. Perhaps we can even admit that it is a good thing that we cannot fully understand it because we would then be more tempted to manipulate it according to our will. The most important lesson we can learn regarding grace is to ‘run with it.’ It is never productive to work against God’s grace. In the Gospel, Herod is confused by what he hears about Jesus; he wants to understand the significance of the life of this person but he is unable to comprehend it through lack of faith. Only with faith can we understand the role and work of grace. Grace is not something that the world can understand as it is not empirically or scientifically measurable. It is beyond the reach of human measurement and manipulation. We like to think we are in control of our lives — and we are in a certain sense, but the truth is that our lives are totally dependent upon the grace of God for their operation.
It is a moment of grace when we realize this and come to terms with it. It can lead us on the path of deep faith or it can lead us in the opposite direction if we insist on being the master of our own destinies rather than admit God’s role. The latter is supreme arrogance but it would seem to be a growing reality in today’s world. I hope it is not our tendency as it could result to emptiness to the highest degree. Each of us has a choice: we can embrace the work of the grace of God or we can reject it. This is the most important choice we will ever make. Let us not over-analyze it and its consequences but go with it and allow God to lead us in His path, not our own! Fr. Steve Tynan, MGLWhere is my life heading — along the path to life or is it going somewhere else? Am I strong and humble enough to admit my mistakes and try to mend them?
over and out 6:45 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Dear Ann,
Don't give up. Life rewards those who persevere.
I promise you that if you don't give up, ultimately, you will
find that open door. It has been waiting for you.
Your Door Opener,
God
P.S. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Ann, I
made you tough.
i think this quote is definitely see through me, ive struggling alot in my life. i struggle how a person i loved didnt see me for what iam and the worth...just basically threw me, us away. iam struggling to repair those who ive hurt and those who suffer because of my depression (especially my family). im struggling to have more faith in HIM. im struggling to live my life as HE would want me to. Im struggling to wake up to a new country which i dont know the language.. etcetra...so life is a struggle. and im still here, but im here because HE is, guiding me through everthing.
i subscribed this God whispers club from kerygma (which is run by bo sanchez), i love it. because it makes you feel all good inside and inspire you throughout your whole day. now a days, i find inspiration through alot of things, people. there are so much goodness out there, that if you see through the bad stuff, its just been right in front of you. you dont really need money to see the good stuff, if you set aside and actually realize that everyday is a blessing... you'd be surprise what life has to offer you.
so everyday when i get to school, i have to check with the teachers and check my temperature, before i have to enter the school. this is really crazy since the teachers doesnt have to do this, i have to, because im a foreigner. so the students look at me, like i have swine flu or something. which is lame. but this time, i really wanted them to tell me to go home, coz im just dont feel too good. i dunno if its just the weather (because its been raining and cold outside)or the food or all of the above. i just feel like i just got hit by the bus.i dont have a fever so i cant really go home. but i feel like passing out. i miss home, especially now. when i do get sick my parents and my siblings are there. and my mom would make me soup and bring the medicine. but i guess thats the price of being an adult and living on your own. i hate it. but i have no choice but to deal with it...soo update later then..im about to go home soon..
over and out 12:29 AM
Monday, September 14, 2009
so sunday i was at jeonju.. its been a challenge in trying to find an English mass around here in nonsan..so when i found one in jeonju i was definitely happy and im able to feel better, because i really feel like im missing something in my life. ive been asked to some of the foreigners about my religion and why is it necessary.. i believe that being catholic is definitely the biggest important aspect of me. i dont really know how to explain how its who iam. what my beliefs in my life. its one of the things that ties me to GOD. the people that i hang out with, are so surprise that i got to mass every Sunday. and i dont like it when they start talking about my religion and how were just all Jesus freaks or something.. like being proud of your own religion is crazy. being catholic and my belief in Christ, Mary and saints are an essential part of me, because theyre the reason iam here,living. i just feel so sorry for some people that are so ignorant and close-minded, that they have to criticise everything that is not normal for them. why do we have brains, if we cant be open to things around us? the world is definitely evolving and its scary, but i know im not alone, because i have HIM in my life. if everything falls apart, i know one thing that he is constant all the time.
it was definitely a challenge trying to get to that english mass yesterday, but yesterday, was definitely one of the days that God is great all the time.
i was definitely lost for an hour walking around, i dont know anyone and i dont know the language, so even if i talk to other ppl they just dont know anything that i say or understand. but on the other hand, im also fortunate that God helps me to find ppl who can help me,like yesterday. i was ready to give up, i was ready to go back to Nonsan, i told HIM that to forgive me that i missed the mass already. but as i was hailing a taxi, i stopped at 7-11 so that maybe they can help me out, but it was much more better, it turns out i found a british fellow and his wife and kids, which led me to finding a filipino restaurant, which the filipina owner pointed me towards the school, where the mass is held. i came late that day, but i met alot of filipinos. i got some filipino food (bud-bud) and met great people along the way.
life is really like that, we get lost sometimes... but what really helps is that you talk to him. and with patience he will guide you in the right place, in HIS right time. i think if your dreams and desire is align with serving God, he will definitely will not lead you to astray. just gotta have faith and patience. til next time.
over and out 12:34 AM
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
1.05 pm gayagok middle school faculty roomits only the 2nd week and im just tired. i dunno if i dont have enough sleep or trying to adjust with the country, the people, school, or just the culture..or maybe all of the above. i was actually doing okay when i woke up and then i got here.. the students are just unmotivated especially middle school kids. i wish i can pep talk to them but i cant even speak the language.. i talked to my co-teacher lori and she told me its because they have family problems. usually rural area the kids stay home with their relatives while their parents have to go work in big cities to earn more money. soo the problematic kids are usually acting out in class, tellling each other "shut up" "eff u's" .. and just laughing or talking to other students disturbing the class. i know the students doesnt like me and i dont really care because im really here to teach them and not to be friends with them. granted, i dont want anyone writing bad about me in the bathroom stalls. but its hard not to want to like them, theyre very sweet kids its just when youre in school you cant show them that youre weak or else you'll never get out of class alive. they just wont respect you at all, if you just fantastic all the time. i feel for those kids that are having problems, i really do. but if they disturb my class i wont let that be an excuse.
i can feel that there are times that they'll talk bad about me, just because i dont know korean, dosent mean im stupid. i hear stories from other teachers that they will be smiling at you , but at the same time theyll say "youre ugly" or something in the same context. i really am thankful taht i dont understand what theyre saying, because i dont really know what ill say or do if theyre telling me those stuff.
man, i sound tired.
thats probably coz iam.
i subscribe kerygma from bo sanchez: they have bible readings and reflection that goes with daily scriptures. its like a saving grace for me, since i dont really understand any of korean homilies here, so i read it befor i actually go to mass. and today's reflection is actually pretty good.
Put on love We hear a lot of talk about love and what it means. Most of it is empty words that mean very little. We see all sorts of examples of so-called ‘love’ in movies and in racy novels and so on. Most of this is utter trash and a waste of time for anyone seeking to discover the meaning of true love. The best place to discover the meaning of love is in the Scriptures. Of course, a faithful and loving marriage as well as numerous other situations also depict the true nature of love.
When Paul writes to the Colossians, he tells them that the garment of love should cover everything they do in life. It is love that serves as the foundation of all virtues. It is also what keeps all virtues together. Love is a decision to be in relationship with another person and to be committed to that relationship whatever happens. If you are willing to walk away from a relationship because the other person has let you down, then it is doubtful that you have ever truly loved the person. Love will always seek a way to heal wounds and repair divisions.
Sinfulness, especially repeated sinfulness, can leave people with no other choice but to walk away. But this does not have to be the case. Relationships require the cooperation of two people. There is no such thing as a relationship between a person and his or her self. If one person refuses to be committed to his or her love of the other, then the relationship will fail. If both are committed to working through an issue, then God will provide the grace for this to be resolved. The dual commitment must be there and endure to the end.
Love is a decision that may or may not be built on feelings. We choose to love; it does not just happen to us. Unless our love is deeper than an emotional or physical attraction, it will not, nay, cannot, last. Fr. Steve Tynan, MGL Reflection Question:What is the basis of my words when I say I love another person? Can I recognize the truth that I can decide to love a person I have never met, indeed may never meet in person?
i think saying "i love you" is very imporant, i dont really say it just to anyone. and if i do theres so much meaning towards it. I say it to my family more now, i usually dont then. i guess when you realize something,i tend to act on it than just wait it out. i rather them hear me say "i love you" than none at all,because life is short ( i know it sounds cliche, but it is true). when my mom or my sisters was in the hospital, that was one of the few serious things that you tend to realize that life is fleeting and it could end any moment. now, ever since i moved here in korea, i end my phone calls with my parents with those 3 words. i feel good and better saying it, because they know. i know that if something do happened they know that i mean it.
with facing the opposite sex, He was the only person i told that i love him. and yes, i dont deny that i still do have feelings and love the guy. but i dont think were ever going to be together. he still with me. and i think itll take a long time for me to get over him. i dont wish him any harm or anything bad at all. i actually sincerely prayed that he will find happiness with his dream and find a girl that genuinely loves and cares for him. Iam sad about it, but im definitely changing. one of the things that i choose to move is because of him. i wanted to get away to the familiar settings around me. i didnt base all my decision of moving to korea because of him, i wanted an experience and i want to teach,to travel, and i know it is a challenge and i will take it. I dont really know if im suppose to meet a guy at this certain stage in my life, but i wont close any doors. i dont know if God wants me to get married or stay single, but whatever He decide i know its all for the best. i just know that i'm more aware about certain things next time. i dont regret anything from my past relationship. it was the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
over and out 9:05 PM
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Location: jeonju. GPA sams school. 5.18pm.
listening to: colbie caillat "falling for you" and Taylor swift "you belong to me"im very happy that i was able to talk and see my family. i was able to greet my dad a happy birthday :) thats the highlight of my day that im able to hear their voices and see them make a cover of the kpop and taylor swift.. and i meant the badd cover. not a good one. not even close ahhahhaa
and yes mae, iam actually liking the taylor swift song. and yes, iam late. i dont care. i need to hear a bunch of time until i have to fully decide that im able to like it or not.
ive only been in korea for a couple of weeks, there are a few things that i thought wouldve not done or hear if i was back in texas:
1. met a guy (salim) whom i barely even know, invited me to meet one of his korean guy friends (30 yr old, owns his restaurant in nonsan)-- so i agreed, only to find out that his ride is a bike... what?? so i hopped in. salim drove the bike at around 70-80 mph. which is insane.. of course i have to keep it cool since i dont want him to think im this wuss. so i kept it cool. for the most part i was just screaming :/
so i met his korean friend, he owns this swanky college hang out near a university (which is a couple minutes from my apartment).
before i left going to jeonju, the manager of the apartment has to change my locks of my door. he keeps asking me a question and yes, i dont know what the heck he was saying at all.. something something..anyo internetUH... im like OH! hes talking about internet.. mayn so need a korean phrase book. so i found out that the internet dude whos going to fix my line is going to be there while im away this weekend. soo theyre going to go inside my apt and do their thanngg. so i took my valuables papers, money and documents (which is really important and clothes/ things are really replaceable) to jeonju with me. i really hope nothing is missing in my apartment after i get back. pls pls Lord watch my things when i get back pls.
and yes im still paranoid.
and i met 2 korean guys who lives next door. theyre college peeps. both of the guys are wearing tight, straight jeans. really? i mean really? and why does all these guys here need to make me feel like im a slummpp.. sheezz.. oh and their major is interior design. wow.
and i also realized thats boys hold each others hand and boys do sit in each others lap.. when i saw that one of my students are like doing that.. im like what the eff is going on? is that normal then? whhyy! and yet, they are not gay or anything. they just truly care with one another. dude, i care about my friends but im not aboout to do some touchy feely thing like that.some things i just need to kinda be okay with it.
2.i dont know anything about korean. i dont know about the language. i dont know much about the culture. ive seen the dramas, listened to the music. so when i have to travel outside my city, let alone outside my school or apartment, im a little freak out. soo samantha has to give me instructions how to say train station and ill meet her at her place.
- so i got a taxi near homeplus (SM wanabe store) which is walking distance from my apartment. got to the train station (which you say YOKE) i was semirelief. so i bought my ticket, then i realized that i dont know which flatform im suppose to get into. so i asked ppl around me, which of course they dont know how to speak or understand english. so crap. im thinking that im probabaly going to be stranded in some remote town. so i saw this black guy in the station and luckily i was standing next to him, i heard him talking on the phone speaking english:
i asked him" do you speak english?"
dude: (gave me this weird, you dumb look) "umm, yeahh?"
me: "oh okaygreat (smiles, total oblivious) where track does this train stops?"
so he told me.. i feel like a dork. coz he knows, i know that i know he knows how to speak english. hahhaha...
so i got to track 3, where my train is. every ticket has a box number and a seat assigned. soo when the train got here.. i just sat whereever coz it was empty. isnt that reasonable? noone was sitting there. but no i have to find my box number, which is alll the way in front. i got to my assigned seat i realized that there was a lady there sitting in my sit. i told her that was my seat, she bust out with a ticket, only to find out that i was in the wrong box. FUCDGE!
so all these ppl are looking at me coz i keppt on wandering back and forth where the danng box that im suppose to be. after all that humiliation, i finally found it. sighs.
i got to jeonju. sam was not there outside. you gotta be kidding me! ok if shes not here in like a few mins im gone im gonna hopped into another train and take me home. crud.. soo i waited for awhile, then Sam eventually got there. whew.
EDIT
SO MY WEEKEND in Jeonju:
i met sam's friends. it was quite an introduction, there was alot drama. crying. booze. drunk ppl. theres so much going on. and its mainly because someone sent a nasty email thru facebook. ahh facebook is the devil! it was like im reliving high school all over again. eepp i dont know if i wanna relive that moment in my life. but sam's friends are cool. i dont really say much, they pretty much talk most of the time. i dunno, i think thats my personality. but i think once i get to know ppl i will talk more or joke more. its just hard to be friends with ppl when you know that its only temporary.. and also,because you dont really have nothing in common. so its really hard to just talk about anything else, beside your struggles and how to survive in korea. its really hard to actually build a friendship and maintain it.
but suffice to say, i got drunk twice in a row. i was just a mess. me and alcohol are not friends. it only took 2 shots of soju and i was out. i was puking alot. i wasnt happy. my head was about to explode. man i couldnt even sleep it off without puking.. geez i dont want to drink anymore!!
OY! sam! you need to get ketchup! who doesnt have ketchup stocked at home..really? really.
at least last weekend, i have some normalcy coz i was with sam. i was able to catch up with somethings. ***i really hope THEIR friendship is going to be better, than now ( AND SAM YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN) i just feel like you guys need to talk to each other. dont give me that "oh its watever, im over it. i just need time." cut the crap really. just talk about it, yall sort it out.because this is all nonsense. i dont want to be in the middle of this whole situation. and its really sad. im sad because of this.
sam and i went to a catholic mass, but then we found out its still a korean mass. its soo hard to find someone who can understand english or speak english. geez! we just wanted to ask what time is the english mass. the pastor finally emailed us about the time, its 2.30 pm on sundays. so at least i have a church that i can go every sundays now. PTL!!! prayers are answered. i have been to 2 churches. every single time i go inside a new church, iam reminded what my mom told me that to make a wish everysingle time i enter a new church.. GOD is always with me, despite with everything ive been thru, especially coming here in korea. HE'll never leave me or anyone, who just have faith in him. i know those wishes will somehow come true, if God wills it, it will.
over and out 1:17 AM
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
location:Gayagok middle school. 3.37pm. english room.i got up at around 6.30 am. turned on my computer on. and i had connection.
i was really happy that my internet finally worked. then it died. crap.
stupid internet access and apt building!
ive been sleeping pretty early like around 9pm last nite. i was going to sleep earlier than that, until i heard the door bell. now, i know i dont knw anyone here, except steven and rebecca one floor down, and i wasnt really tight with them. so i ask who it was through the intercom. i heard someone talking in english, and he said he was a friend of "britney" (you know my ex-tenant of the apt) and stevens also. so i met Salim, we talked over about an hour, he was from queens, new york. he actually know where canarsie is at, and the hot bagels, and super tasty hotdogs and humongos pizza. which only leads to believe that he is a real new yorker. this is salim's 2nd year here in Korea. he is planning to stay here until 6 years. i dont even know if ill make it into 6 months. so he invited me this weekend at least to go hang out with some university english speaking koreans. and whenever i wanna hang to go to seoul and busan. i just said "yea sure, whenever right." what are the chances that ill be going to be hanging out with him again anyways. but hes a nice dude. hes pretty funny.
Salim told me that koreans doesnt really like filipinos around here. umm gee thanks.
he just told me that were not koreans and theyre also hating on korean americans. so basically theres a whole of hating around here. goshh need to stop drinking them haterade.
and he told me about the motel that ive been staying is really a love motel.. ahhh that would explain the fact that there was porn in two channels. (and its not the kind thats very appealing. its with dirty old men, whos hitting on with young women-- with too much make up. thats porn for them? deng. and womens boobs are just like men, its lesser than A cup.. wteff?? seriously, i think theyve deprived some of the american porn. rent one. seriously.)
so i was mostly observing today, i really wanted to interrupt the korean teacher and tell her that her kids are not behaving well. combing, using a mirror, texting, and whispering each others ears, giggling, uniforms untucked, touching each other, boys ing papers to girls so that they can have their attention, and sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!!! ohh man i wish Mrs. Turner is here, she wouldve woop these kids into shape. it was just a mess. they have no motivation whatsoever.
soo by the time 6th period is on, i already have 5 rules:
1.come prepared.
2.no speaking korean.
3.no homework from other class.
4. BE RESPECTFUL. (no touching, no talking when someones talking)
5. NO electronics! (will be confiscated, if i caught them using it inside class).
it worked. i was just a total bitch.if someone talked. the whole class will recite the rules again. and specifically the ones that they broke.
i had fun slowing my power point that consists with alot of my families photograph. including gaston :)
how is gaston by the way? still chewing those wires and eating rice?
i just found out that ill be getting classes from 8.20 am to 9
am, for the special students that are bright. not the special ones like what mae refers them to as "R".. no its the opposite kind. i have to see if thats part of my program and if i get paid more for that.. what other surprises are there now?
do you think ive been too negative about this experienece? because i dont think so its just kinda terrible things thats been happening.. but its not that bad... but being alone away from home is kinda getting to me. but slowly im getting use to being independent.. but deng seriously, its kinda scary. i was walking by myself to the nearest PC bang. by seriously, i got lost.. coz i couldnt really read all those hangul sign. i have to remember this convenience store. but even that got lost through all the darkness and worried that those drunk men will attack you. haha yes im that paranoid.
anyways, i just found out that Sandara Park is going solo. arent they a new group? she couldnt really sing. really? im kinda surprise, since theyre really popular around here.
well when i get home:
- i need to cook first.
-lesson plan for elementary
i really hope that my internet works today or tomorrow. at least ill be able to tell my dad happy birthday...wow my 2nd birthday that im not there. that sucks.
I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.
Song: Breathe by Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillet
over and out 11:36 PM
location: gayagok middle school. english room. 4.14pmso i finished for the day. my first day. i taught elementary students
so this is my tentative schedule:
M, T, R= MIDDLE SCHOOL
W, F= elementary (3, 4, 5, & 6)
in the morning, the vice president came to pick me up at the apartment, i had to wait at some stop light near my apt. it was kinda weird. but it got me to school.
i came up to the school at around 8.30, and i have to take my temperature. as usual :)
so as soon as i got here, i had to come for staff meeting, because we had to welcome the new principal, that apparently starts today. i thought i was done for the morning,but they have a hugggee auditorium full of students and teachers, and i stood in front of the auditorium and present myself to all of the student body and the whole staff again. soo woow waht a way to start my first day right?
basically, i totally just winged it the whole day, played some games, talked about my family, where im from, and just basic introduction about myself. so i have to do alot of work though this weekend.. i dunno if im able to see sam this weekend which really kinda sucks, coz i havent really seen her since ive arrived. ive also receieved alot of messages from facebook and emails from my orientation peeps to go hiking or to go out..but i dont reallyknow how to get around. and plus i dont have a cell phone yes. which suckks even worst.
but overall its been a fulfilling day. i love the classroom and the kids.. i jsut hope im able to keep this up. the korean teachers were really impressed by me. i thought i did bad coz i didnt have any lesson plans at all.
i'll email soon. and hopefully call soon, whenever get i get my internet straighten out.
i still miss home.
FAMILY: hope yall are sleeping well. i hope that i am able to talk to you guys soon. pls take cares. let me know about maes test pls. or just email me about anything or wahtevers thats been happening back home. hope lolo is alright. okies..
well i have to go now. im leaving school at around 5pm. and all teachers are supposed to go out and eat together because of the new principals homecoming.
so take cares yall. Good night texas! Love yall! i miss yall! God bless.
over and out 12:02 AM
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
8.01pm. pc bang. it freakin reaks like cigarettes here. im sorrounded by men, who's busy playing web games.
im waiting for ness or anyone to go online. i seriously need to vent!
so i arrived yesterday at my apartment at around 4pm.. korean time.
so apparently the old tenant was still there, lets call her by the name "britney"...
i had a feeling i wasnt gonna like her. she just had a major attitude and she was just huge.i was supposedly going to spend the nite with her, since shes going to move out the next day, early morning.
i was lugging my 100 pound luggages, up stairs, no elevator. and im in the 3rd floor.
luckily one of the male teacher from my school was a huge help. i was incredibly disapppointed that i the size of the apartment was not that huge. it was a studio apt. a very small studio apt. but i was very optimistic, because i can rearranged my furniture and everything...
but that wasnt my biggest problem, THE APARTMENT WAS JUST SOOOOOO DIRTY! THERE WAS HAIR, MINI, CUT HAIR, LIKE IT WAS SOME SORT OF BEAUTY SHOP WHO NEVER CLEANS UP!!! wteff. mother effffer! i examined the whole apartment. as soon as you walk inside the bathroom, it friggin reakkss like urine! and wahts worst is that the sink drainage was completely shut off.. soo she had the audacity to say "oh just put some draino on" .. seriously. fuck.
this is ridiculous.
so i went with rory to get some stuff for the apt..like food, blankets, CLEANING SUPPLIES, and a desk (coz apparently britney was too good for a desk, its in the bloody contract!)..
so i came back from grocery shopping, well guess where my luggages went... at the balcony!!! and she told me that i was going to sleep at the balcony!!!! she had the sheets all laid out. but she never even ask me if i can sleep at least inside! luckily, the balcony is all covered.
so aside with all these shit, i just found out that theres NO INTERENET ACCESS IN THE BUILDING TEMPORARILY. soo i was just a mess last nite. i couldnt go to sleep coz im sleeping next to the washing machine.. theres hairss everywhere in the floor. and i was really contemplating that i should definitely go home now. as in noww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just end up crying the whole nite.. and i prayed that everything will get better.
so today, i woke up at 6am. she already was gone when i woke up. i start cleaning up to this pig stye...its improving. i think.
went to COSTCO with rory in daejon. its huge! i had a great time with her. it was so nice being outside. and we didnt have school today, so technically TOMORROW is my first day. but since i dont have the internet.. i dont even know how im gonna do my presentation for tomm. i just hope i dont teach first period.
then went back to cleaning...i finally cleaned the bathroom. its kinda improving. the only thing that sucks about this bathroom, aside being soo tiny. i literally shower in front of the sink. for real. i need to upload lots of pictures but i cant. since i dont have freaking internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! seriously im really thinking of leaving. like this december and not coming back ever.
so you know what i did to the sink, well i bought draino. but i used one of the metal chopstick and stick inside the drain.. and you know what ive got a handful of hairrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its disgusting. what eff! was she half dog or something, that sheds all the friggin time.. there was hair hair everywhere!
but when i was actually cleaning, i was thinking, that i am pretty lucky that i had a great room back home in texas and great bathroom that does not stink and not clogged by hairs! and i MISS MY FAMILY! i keep thinking why on earth did i even do this. i dont really know if these are worth it anymore.
TO MY FAMILY: if your reading all this, if i dont get online tommorrow nite, i probably still dont have internet access. ill talk to u guys hopefully at school tomm. i miss you guys. i hope papa got to new york safe? did mae already has the mri results? hows everything? i really want to talk to yall and see yall, just right now i cant :( im just kinda sad about this. so just email or facebook me. and ill check it as soon as i can. pls take good care of each other or wherever yall are at. i love you guys. God bless.
over and out 3:53 AM