Thursday, May 10, 2007
i think i failed majority of that final exams. total failure. there should be stamp in my forehead that labels LOSER!
over and out 7:06 AM
Sunday, May 6, 2007
i just checked my voicemail again. 6 more msges from him for this week. he says that he misses me and he wants to talk to me, BUT he cant do anything about it because im not picking up the phone. which is is really bull shit!! the fact that he knows my address, my house phone, my email, my friends... he DOES NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! fck I LOVE YOU and shit because he never meant it. he can thank me how much i made a difference to him in his life... how iam always a part of him blah blahh... why dont he just fuck himself! but i have a hard time just believing anything what he says. being a liar, most possibly (very likely) a cheater, coward, box full of exuses mumbo jumbo... yada yada yada yada... GAWDD!!!
people is never contented with what they have. they lie, they cheat, manipulate..... why do you want to hurt someone that you love? why the hell cant you just be honest? to save them from getting hurt is full of shit! you are just making it worse by prolonging it. he or she is gonna know sooner or later. cutting it off sooner than later is better. i dont want to be stuck in a relationship thats in a vicious cycle and with empty promises.
hey youre right blood is thicker than water. i shouldnt judge your family, but man, it just made me realize why the hell i didnt want to be associated with you and your family for the longest time. but i gave you guys a benefit of a doubt, especially you, because i love you. SO YOU CAN CHOOSE your family. YOU CAN CHOOSE that girl that you secretly have feelings for and regreted not telling her that you like her and the what ifs, and your so full of crap when you say to my face that shes just a phase. fuck you liar! and who knows you probably fucked her while you were there in the philippines. right? the pictures says everything idiot. YOU CAN CHOOSE and live over there in the philippines, because honestly it would a whole lot easier for me to get over you. YOU CAN CHOOSE to be with those girls that your mom set you up, that you lied to me, you made me feel inadequate, ashamed, and embarrased to be with. oh yea, i forgot that i know about the flowers too.
so you really think that you can get away with the fact, that ill settle for left overs. you and your fckin ego mustve a blast that all these options are waiting out for you huh? but hey if it doesnt work,im always gonna be here waiting your ass. take you back yet again. wait for you. a backup. a phase. make me feel like a bigger fool than i already am. how does it feel to know that you made my life miserable?
just dont say anything that you dont mean. if you cant act on the things you say, just leave me the hell alone. because i rather be alone than be miserable. theres so much in life that i want to do. and i cant spend it by pinning over a miserable excuse of a guy. its just not worth it. you know the more that spend so much time by myself and getting to know who iam and just hanging out with the people that i actually enjoy the company with.. the more i realize that theres so much out there. and i am so worth it, than what you have given for the last years.
---iam slowly hardening my heart, all thanks to you. it just shows that there really isnt anyone that you can trust but yourself. iam learning, gradually healing. its hard to get over him esp when u live in this neighborhood. iam weaning myself out of a life that wasnt meant for me. yea, im gonna sound like a cliche but love is blind. but God has always been there for me through all this. without HIM i couldnt make it. and this is a blessing in disguise. and i thank God that i have another day to start all over again.
Labels: angry
over and out 9:46 PM
Thursday, May 3, 2007
woah, yellowness.
big game starts. mavs vs warriors 3-2. mavs need this. they need to win. were all hoping and praying. or there will be alot of people in dallas who's gonna be disappointed tonight. we'll see in an hour and half from now.
goodness, ness and mae are getting too antsy. geez. so focus on the game, needs to chills.
LETS GO MAVS!!!
ding.
your are now free to fly outta here, away from too-much-disappointment-town.
over and out.
EDIT. EDIT. EDIT///
=( omgoodness! they fckin lost. im so disappointed. and whats worst is the fact that they lost big time. wtf is that all about?!? uggh! at this point there will be no finger-pointing at anyone, im sure everyone did their best. im just saddened by the fact that they didnt have the chance to play at the finals, the mavs work their ass off to be the number one team, but they couldnt even pull the first challenge. but there will be next year. lets just pray that next time they will come thru. but for now...win or lose, mavs are still number one.
well back to studying for finals week. then summer school. then hopefully graduation.
ahh..life.
over and out 8:31 PM